fearless

adjective 1. without fear; bold or brave; intrepid.

I've never considered myself fearless. Out of all the times I've had to describe myself in three words or give my 30 second elevator speech, it has never made the cut. It has never even crossed my mind, really.

Lately, the word has taken on an entirely different meaning. Let's be honest, there isn't a human being on this planet that is truly without fear. If you say that you are, I don't believe you.  Whether you're young or old, American or Chinese, rich or poor, an introvert or extrovert, we all have something that scares us, that gives us pause--if only for a moment. To me, fearless means choosing to take chances and make decisions despite not knowing what may come, or perhaps knowing exactly what's ahead; It's choosing to change, grow and learn regardless of whatever fears or woes you may have.

With that being said, I guess I could consider myself a whole lot more fearless--but there's always room for growth. Sure, there are times when I've thrown caution to the wind or gone with my heart instead of my head, but I can think of just as many or more times when I made, or didn't make, a decision out of fear. Fear of not being enough, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of uncertainty and the list goes on. Not to say that fear is always the masked villain, the antagonist, because it can also be useful, but it's all about being aware of where you stand in the face of fear. Fear has been playing a much bigger role in my life than I ever realized and here's what I have to say about it: fuck it.

In my mind, vulnerability is one of the best, most sensible, yet hardest ways to combat fear. But when is the right thing ever the easiest? Being vulnerable is not something that I'm good at. I fear all of the aforementioned, so I tend to build walls, make assumptions and come to a conclusion about something often times before it has even started. I'm so emotionally constipated that I either say things that I don't mean to divert the attention away from my true feelings, or not even raise my voice at all. Enough with all of that.

So, I will keep a close eye on my fears, always taking them into consideration but never letting them hold me back. I will love without the expectation of being loved in return. I will take risks without certainty of reward. I will say exactly what I feel and mean without knowing what will be said in return. I will live, not just exist, because I am fearless.

Namaste, bitches.