the unplug drug

(image via Jacki Carr & Britt Nemeth Photography)

The second they asked me to put my phone in the little blue berry basket my heart sunk a little. A million thoughts started racing through my mind: “How long am I going to be here? What if someone is trying to reach me? I won’t be able to take a picture. What if so”—STOP.  Just stop. In that moment, before we even got started, I realized I have a problem. I’m addicted to my phone. Like, can’t-leave-the-house-without-it, checking-to-see-if-I-have-a-new-notification-every-47-seconds, carry-a-charger-with-me-at-all-times (God forbid it dies) kind of addicted. Hey, the first step is admitting you have a problem…right?

Even once the Bliss Rebellion started and my phone was out of reach, I thought about it. Incessantly. I had an itch that I couldn’t scratch because something that has admittedly become part of my being, in a sense, was (temporarily) gone. I mean, it was practically calling my name from across the room. I swear it. GROSS. I’m cringing just typing these words. All too often I get sucked into that tiny little screen and forget that there is life all around me. People. Nature. Places to see and things to do. Oy...

They dropped so many truth bombs in that hour – SO MANY. I was in sheer bliss as I laughed, listened and learned. As we dug deeper and deeper into our conversations about connection, disconnection and the unplug drug, I started to think about my phone a little less. And at the end of it all, it was the absolute last thing on my mind - I almost forgot to grab it on my way out. The wisdom these three ladies possess is awe-inspiring and their passion for sharing it is magical. If you haven’t heard about Rock Your Bliss, Folk Rebellion or the women behind the brands, Google it. Right now. Actually, I take that back. Do it the second you’re done reading this.

Anyways, they made me stare into the eyes of a complete stranger for one whole minute. Have you ever done this? It was longer than a microwave minute – hell, longer than a treadmill minute. I learned two things from this:

1.     Eye contact makes me wildly uncomfortable.
2.     I need a lot more of it in my life.

I was so uncomfortable with it at first that I was about to jump out of my own skin, but hey, nothing great ever comes out of a comfort zone. And, I’m alive. I’m here. I'm writing to you right now, so obviously I made it out of there in one piece. (Dramatic much?) All said and done, I’m glad I did it. It’s insane how something so simple can teach such a huge, impactful lesson. I mean, this is the root of all connection. Am I right? There is something so profound about making eye contact with someone – not just the fleeting, blink-of-an-eye and it’s over kind. I'm talkin' about the juicy, see-into-the-other-person's-soul kind of eye contact. Yeah, that. I think I made more eye contact in that one hour than I have in my entire life, and I had never felt more connected to a group of people I had only just met that day. And this all happened without my phone.

My phone is great. It allows me to keep in touch with all sorts of people I can’t see on a regular basis – and for that I love it. But it also has a way of distracting me and keeping me from being present when I AM around people, and for that I hate it. At the end of the day, though, I can’t place all the blame on my tiny little portable computer. I’m half of this equation too, and I have no problem owning it.

With that said, there need to be boundaries. I mean I’m on the phone with my parents - who I see way less than I would like to - and I’m trolling through my Instagram feed. Absolutely sick, I know. I even sleep with the damn thing about 5 inches from my head. No bueno.

So, it ends here. And no, I don’t mean I’m going to go completely analog and ditch my phone. But like I said, boundaries.

For one, when I am with people, my phone is away. Not sitting on my lap, or in my pocket, or wherever. It’s out of sight and out of mind. Non-negotiable. Feel free to slap me on the back of the head if you see me staring at a screen while I’m in good company.

Also, I will take (at least!) one hour a day to completely unplug – whether that’s yoga, hiking, reading, or anything and everything in between.

I will not use my phone, watch TV or anything else that involves a screen within an hour of my bedtime. Sorry late night Netflix marathons, we’re breaking up.

So, here's to diving into my REAL life and living less and less out of the one powered by LTE and Wi-Fi. Don't forget about lots and lots of eye contact. Yes, that too. Cheers!