In my experience, the decision to leave never gets any easier - no matter how many times I choose it. It actually gets harder.
Even after I said my initial "fuck yes" and declared my decision to the universe, I was uncertain. I hadn't quite convinced myself that it was the right decision at this time in my life, that it was what I really wanted or needed. I went back and forth for quite some time – I still have my moments.
This part was extremely hard for me to write and share on-the-line, so bare with me.
There were many occasions where I almost nipped it in the bud and decided to stay in Minnesota forever - or at least for the time being. Like the many times my mom told me she wished I would stay and I so badly wanted to break down and say yes. And let’s not forget about when my nephew was born; every time I held him in my arms I silently swore I’d never leave. Or when I was sitting across the table, chatting with my dad about our days and our dreams. Definitely when I finally met someone I could see myself spending a whole lot of time with, and who thinks my snoring is cute – I mean c’mon. Oh, my heart. But off to New Zealand I go, because I’ll be honest, there was never really a chance I would stay home. I couldn’t, this is the only path in front of me. I’m meant for it. I just have to learn to trust the timing of my life – which like usual, is so, so much easier said than done. Trust, Jenna. Trust.
For those of you who don’t already know, I don’t really have a plan. I have an idea, but there’s nothing set in stone. No job lined up, no home base, and I don't really know a soul. For all of you Type A (TA) folks, yeah. You heard me. And I know, right? No plan?! My god. A TA myself, I’m driving myself nuts, but I’m currently working on loosening the reins a bit, because why not? I want to explore for a few months, and then I’ll try to settle down in Wellington and find a job teaching yoga. That’s the dream, anyways. I have a feeling that once I get into the swing of the Kiwi way of life some pretty rad opportunities will start to pop up left and right. My new motto for the next few months goes a little something like, ‘think less, feel more.’ Mmmm, I love the sound of that - just reading it on the page gets me all excited.
A lot of people have asked me if I'll be blogging throughout this big, bad extravaganza. My response: you KNOW it. I'll be documenting the good, the bad, the hilarious and everything in between - and if you followed my blog while I studied abroad, you can be sure to expect a whole lot of the same. I always make it out the other side, but there are always plenty of detours, road blocks, wrong turns and speed bumps along the way that are great for entertainment purposes.
So, stay tuned. I'll have lots to share with you in the next few days, weeks, and months. A little shameless self promotion while I'm at it: I make a GREAT travel companion. So if you're feeling spontaneous, adventurous and little bit carazy I think you should hop on over across the pond and explore with me. Just saying...
Ok. Enough for now. Next time you here from me I'll be in Kiwi territory. Wuuuuuut. Over and out, y'all. Sleep tight.